Wishes
Funny Christmas Wishes
Funny Christmas wishes are the quickest way to make someone laugh in a busy December inbox. Here are 28 clean, cheeky messages for friends, family and coworkers.
Every joke here is safe for a family card or the office group chat. Match the humor to the person, and add a real wish at the end so they know you mean it.
Funny wishes for anyone
- Merry Christmas! May your coffee be strong and your relatives' visits be short.
- Wishing you a Christmas so good that you forget what day it is until January 3rd.
- Merry Christmas! Remember, it's not overeating, it's festive carb loading.
- May your holidays be merry, your gifts be returnable and your batteries be included.
- Wishing you a Christmas full of joy, peace and leftovers that last until February.
- Merry Christmas! Don't forget to smile in the family photo. You'll be on the fridge all year.
- I hope your tree stays upright, your cat stays calm and your lights all work.
Santa and reindeer jokes as wishes
- Santa checked his list twice and you're still on the nice side. Barely. Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas! Santa told me you've been good this year. I think he's been drinking the eggnog.
- If Santa doesn't show up this year, blame the reindeer. They're unionizing.
- Wishing you a Christmas so cozy, even Santa will want to stay for a nap.
- Merry Christmas! I asked Santa for a thinner waist and a fatter wallet. He mixed them up again.
- Santa is the only man who gets away with breaking into homes and eating everything. Respect. Merry Christmas!
- May your chimney be wide and your cookies be plentiful, for Santa's sake.
Funny wishes for family and friends
- Merry Christmas to my favorite relative. Don't tell the others. I told them the same thing.
- Thanks for being the kind of friend I can eat an entire tin of cookies in front of. Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas! Let's see who can stay awake longest after dinner this year.
- Here's to another Christmas of pretending we love each other's fruitcake.
- Merry Christmas! I'd give you the world, but I spent my budget on wrapping paper.
- Wishing my family a Christmas with good food, great company and no board game feuds. Okay, maybe one.
- Merry Christmas! May the Wi-Fi password at Grandma's house finally work.
Short funny lines for texts
- Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!
- Sleigh all day, nap all night.
- Yule be fine. Merry Christmas!
- Have a holly jolly nap.
- Eat, drink and loosen your belt.
- Oh, what fun it is to snack.
- Fa la la la la, la la, nap time.
Humor lands best when it's personal. Tweak a joke to fit the person's habits, like the friend who's always late or the uncle who burns the turkey. Finish with one sincere line so the laugh comes with a little warmth.
Frequently asked questions
What is a funny way to say Merry Christmas?
Try a playful line like "Merry Christmas! May your coffee be strong and your relatives' visits be short." Puns such as "Yule be fine" and "Sleigh all day" also work well in texts.
Are funny Christmas messages okay for coworkers?
Yes, as long as the humor is light and inclusive, such as jokes about reply-all emails or holiday snacks. Avoid anything about politics, religion or appearance.
Where does "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal" come from?
It comes from "Angels with Filthy Souls," the fake gangster film Kevin watches in Home Alone (1990). It's now one of the most quoted Christmas movie lines.